from Buenos Aires with love...

well... I don't have some overwhelming thing to write... this is going to be more or less one of those "write as you go" posts.

I am sitting in a Starbucks that I love here in Buenos Aires on Sunday morning. I woke up today and rode my bike here through the warmth of the day. It is hot here... like, "I am going to go to the park to get a tan" hot. I am so ready for the cold though. It's just not December in this heat. I freaking want to put the heater on in my car and listen to Christmas music and see Christmas lights! Granted, the sun going down at 6 will be a switch... at 9 here, it is still somewhat light out. Yeah! It's the truth.

Enough of that... I have been in succh a weird mood lately... mainly because I am constantly trying to maintain my excitement for my return in less than a week. This time next week I will be in America! And about to be with family and friends (I wish with all of you, but life is life... and so understandable).

Honestly, I don't know what God has been teaching me lately. I've been so all over the place spiritually this semester. I am just really tired, spiritually surviving alone, emotionally not having ANY consistency there, socially- who knows man, physically- don't go there... It's just so much. Everyday, all day, I feel like I've had to be "on" ya know? Where your mind doesn't rest well... You're thinking in another language, about things that are so minute to your normal life, or dealing with stuff that I just want to be over.

My prayer the last few weeks has been for strength and for contentment here. Not just that I'd survive, but enjoy living here. I really LOVE this city... really, the culture, the history... so many things. I am just ready eager to be home at this point.

I feel like I've lost a lot of "who I am" here. This part will be vague and maybe not understandable but, I am not doing anything here that I feel like would be what I would choose to do for my daily life. The few options I have here that somewhat resemble my life back home is riding a bike or going to Starbucks (mainly for good coffee and holiday cups). Reading a lot and journaling. But my life back home has community, growth, Truth mixed with a broken world, here is just the broken world and the a little bit of Truth.

Someone once told me that if you want to follow the Lord and grow in Him, it is a conscience choice. How much you want to grow is a direct reflection of putting yourself in positions where that is possible. If you want to follow Jesus, you choose to... that choice has just been made so much harder this semester. And yet the goodness of Jesus is so much more vivid and clear for me. I love Him. Him. Not the crap that surrounds Him or seems to be tagged onto the name of Jesus or His "photos" or whatever. Religion here is so religious. And that is what Jesus falls under... it makes me so sick. And really, really sad.

I want to sit and talk with yall... to reflect and just hear about yall's semesters. Everything about them. This time next week we can even text message! haha... how lame. but really! I love yall... these thoughts were random and scattered, but why would you expect anything less. :)