i held back tears in class today.

lame. straight up.

I have been super overwhelmed lately. I think everyday for the past few days I've really cried. Wednesday it was after talking to Melissa and skype-messaging with my Dad. Yesterday I was crying in my room because of being so overwhelmed and tired of feeling like that. Today in class I had to wipe tears from my eyes when I didn't know the answers to a question. It's like failure is a dark cloud over me here, mainly in relation to the language. It's just so much to learn and I feel so bad... there is progress for sure, but progress and mastering a language are so far from each other. I can't stand not being good at things, simple things, like conversing.

Tonight I cried in a conversation with my new roommate Bethany. It started by her asking me about post-college plans and I started talking about camp/church ministry/missionary work/etc. We got into an over hour long convo just about life and her story. She was raised in a super conservative family... to the point of uber-condemnation. She explained to me how this summer was the first time she has felt conviction and it didn't feel condemning... but rather incited a desired change in her life. That's cool to hear someone say. We talked about how her faith is still very basic and she is still asking a lot of questions but how that is good. I loved it.

The humorous (i.e. Kimberly's past is very different) quote of the night was when she was talking about her crazy lifestyle in high school and how in college she just wanted to mess around with guys, but, "I mean it's not like I have a very high number or anything..." At first, I heard what she said and was like, what? Then I realized she was for real. I laughed out loud at how different we are... I absolutely love that our pasts are so different. She was telling me how she doesn't ever feel like she can be honest about her past because of feeling condemned; how she doesn't feel like she can talk about her faith because it is so basic.

I started crying... she is just so in need of depth in her life. Depth in her relationships, both with people who love Jesus and even more with Jesus Himself. Gosh... how blessed I feel to get to be with her. Pray I would be not only purposeful in conversation with Bethany but that I would live very transparent with her... let me thoughts and prayers be verbalized and that I would be able to verbally encourage her daily.

She is a seeker... a beautiful woman inside and out... pray I would love her as Christ.

Bethany.

besos, kimbo